Saturday, December 3, 2011

And the winner is...

I have come to the conclusion that my two older kids have their mind set on driving their mother to the point of full insanity in the shortest amount of time.

It's what gets them out of bed in the morning and keeps them going throughout the day.

Whatever mom says, let's NOT do it. And when she tells us again and again and again, let's still NOT do it. Let's fight constantly, and yell and scream at each other. Let's always tell on each other and definitely over and over so she doesn't forget we're here. Never pick up our belongings and make sure we disregard all warnings that if she finds our toys spread across the house again, they'll end up in the trash - like she would ever do such thing! Always remain absolutely out of control when in public but especially when at the grocery store after "pinky promising" in the car that this trip would be different and not end up with tears - her tears, not ours. We must nag her constantly about how boring and miserable our lives are due to her lack of splitting herself between three kids and the little things she does. Cause I mean really, if she can stay up until after midnight on most days and be wide awake at 6am and that after being up at least twice each night playing with the baby, well she clearly didn't do much all day or else she'd be tired and go to bed when we do. Never should be forget to always demand things like extra time, wanting new things, her taking us out to the movies and of course being paid an allowance for chores we NEVER do.

Clearly. I deserve the "mom you fucking suck" award for the year 2011. And surely if I keep this shit up, I'll be the runner up for next years title before 2012 even begins.

And let's not get into the "shitty wife of the century" award. Looks like I got that one covered as well.

Well. At least now I can't say I never win.

Over and out fuckers.

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