Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My early rant...

Is it too early in the day to rant? I think NOT. In fact it's never too early to rant. So. Here goes nothing.

As you may know, I am putting together a fundraiser for Japan, for this weekend. It's a Garage Sale / Bake Sale with ALL proceeds going to the Red Cross in Japan. I'm putting a lot of time and effort into it, not to mention financial aids. Nothing in this world comes free unfortunately, not even on a military post.
So, I posted the official flyer on bookoo.com for Fort Irwin, so more people would read it and hopefully find it in the kindness of their heart to help out any way possible.
Not only is this place seriously lacking on people that like to give to others, no, we are also kinda short in the decency deptartment.

 Ok here's the flyer, just so you have an idea how horribly WRONG it is what I'm doing.

So this one "person" sent me an email in regards to the flyer telling me it's basically wrong, and we should be giving to AMERICANS instead since there are so many homeless and starving "in your own backyard".

"But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love"


For crying out loud, can't you even post a flyer for a fundraiser online without having some ignorant stupid b****h tell you, it's WRONG and you should be giving to the homeless here in the States instead????
How could it ever be WRONG to give your time and money to ppl that have lost EVERYTHING due to a natural disaster???? If you're all out there helping the "homeless and hungry in your own backyard" then hey way to go, but if you just like to talk s**t because you're ignorant and selfish then please stare at your feet and shut the hell up! It irritates me beyond words!

"Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?"


And just for the record, I support World Vision financially, I give to all sorts of organizations that help all over the world, I give to the AMERICAN Red Cross and am also a volunteer for the AMERICAN Red Cross, I give donations to the local food pantry. I do a LOT unlike a lot of ppl I know. So. Before you tell me I am doing something WRONG with working my butt off trying to help Japan as much as I possibly could, think for just one second when was the last time YOUR ignorant ass has done ANYTHING for anyone that DIDN'T benefit yourself???!!!!!!!!


Every person on this planet is entitled to their own opinion and we can't all always agree, that's just how it is. And I get that. But I am so sick sick SICK and tired of hypocrites. If all these people talking s**t about non profit organizations helping in disaster relief in other countries, would actually go DO something about all they think is wrong here in the States, then it wouldn't be this bad!!!
Where are all the AMERICAN Red Cross volunteers? There's not a single one I know other than the ones I met because I'm working with them. And believe me, I know  A LOT of people!!!

"Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?"

Stop bitching, start a revolution!

Rant over. For now.

"We only got
ONE WORLD
That's all we got"

Monday, March 28, 2011

Is "me time" overrated?

Today was a good day.

First of all I must say, I am again, just like when I was pregnant with Tristan, in LOVE LOVE LOVE with Capri Sun Cherry :O) Let's just keep them fingers and toes and what not crossed that I won't, like when I was pregnant with Tristan, will gain 70lbs lol Actually let's make that a - (minus) "lol" because it simply wouldn't be funny. It never was and never will be. For some reason now my mind is drifting and I am reminded that I'm  D U E for my second round of glucose testing which is like the most dreadful and disgusting torture I've ever had to endure. I just hope this time around it'll be easier, seeing how I'm not as nauseous anynmore as I was the first time they made me drink that nasty ol' stuff. And I'm sorry, but anyone saying it tastes good when it's right out of the fridge must have some serious issues lol That stuff's just plain 
G R O S S! I wonder if I can get away with not doing it? I mean really what would happen? They can't force me now can they? Childish I know.

Anyway.

Today I was named "admin" of a fb page called "yes I work, I'm a stay at home mom". One out of I believe 5 admins with a page with way over 12,000 followers? Well I must say it is mainly the reason my day went as great as it did. I did a short introduction on the page and I have never, and I mean never, had so many people, well in this case women, women that have never met me, tell me that I am doing a great job over here and that they're thankful for my husband's and MY service! I have never had so many, aknowledge that there's not just the soldier who's giving up so much for his country, there's always someone behind that soldier. In this case, a loving and supporting wife and mother to his children. They wished us strength, luck and reminded me to make sure I make time "for myself". Me time.
It got me thinking. What really is "me time" about? Is it something I'm entitled to? If so, what is it that I do that gives me the right to think I deserve "me time"? When is the best time to have "me time" and most importantly, what really IS "me time"???
I honestly can't tell you when I truly did something by myself, for myself,  for the last time. Something that benefit no one other than me. I keep telling myself, I really need my eyebrows done. I need a pedicure. Just simple things like that. Things a lot of moms around me do without any questions asked. Whether their husbands are home or in the field, deployed or TDY. They just do it. They'll leave their kids with a friend or an extra two hours at daycare without feeling guilty about it. Should they? I don't know. Since my husband is gone for a year, the CYS (for the non military, child youth services) gives me 16 free hours of childcare per child, per month. So while Tristan is in school, I could easily drop Mimi off at hourly care and get some of this "me time". Right?
Well I think I've used 9 hours so far this month, out of my 16, and the month will be over in a couple of days. What does that tell you? What should it tell ME? I'm not quite sure if I should take advantage of it or if I should feel guilty. Well it's not really about that it's more the fact that I simply DO feel guilty. Or I would if I'd actually do it. Sure when you have a prenatal appt it comes in handy not having to drag her along and have the staff give you the "did you not read the sign that says do NOT bring your children???" -looks but you know these days I quite frankly don't give a rats bottom if people like me bringing my kids or not. It's not like I have a choice.
So back to this "me time". Other than pedicure and eyebrows I really can't tell you what else I'd do if I should ever have such time to myself. I don't think it'd feel right. I'd feel like something or more someone is missing. I got used to having Mimi around all day so quickly that I don't think I could be without her. Isn't that kind of selfish? Maybe I'm just not giving myelf any "me time" because I'm afraid of being alone? Is "me time" really maybe only for people that don't have any fear? They don't mind being by themselves? Is this my way of coping? Am I truly using my children to make myself believe that I'm ok with being alone yet again, for another year, being pregnant with the possibility of giving birth without my husband by my side?
I never thougth about it that way until today.

I think this here, this is my "me time". I'm all by myself in front of my comp...NOTEBOOK. I'm digging deep and I'm processing. Yes, this is it. It may not fit the standard and it may not be what society intends but it's enough for me.
Here in a little bit I'll crawl onto my couch with Mimi and cuddle until either one of us falls asleep and I won't regret a second of it. My children are my life. There all I have right now, there all that keeps me going while my husband is away. So why would I want to be away from them unless I absolutely have to?

Me time. It's the time I don't have to give to people other than my family. My husband. My son. My daughter. And the life growing inside of me. Being able to spend every second of the day with them, THAT is my "me time". I don't need anything else. I wouldn't ask for anything else.

Here's to my pride and joy. My love. My life. My everything.
Here's to "me time".

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Wait - I forgot

Ha! I almost forgot! I got the Red Cross on board, they're sponsoring my fundraiser :O) also I'll be an official Red Cross Volunteer as of next Tuesday.
I already have 5 people that are volunteering to help with the fundraiser so now the weather only has to be nice as predicted for next saturday and the Army just needs to get paid (which is still up in the air) and we should be good to go :O)
Well I still have a ton of work ahead of me this coming week until the actual day of the fundraiser but I'm in good spirits.
I'm proud. I'm very proud.

Please please please

Good morning. It's been a good night. The cats for once decided to stay quiet or maybe I was just out cold and didn't hear them. Either way it worked out to my advantage. I got more than 4 hours of sleep and feel somewhat rested. Mission accomplished.

Nonetheless the kids are already NOT listening and acting up so I can only imagine what this day's gonna be like. Sigh. Yeah I know, cut 'em some slack, their Daddy just left but I mean come on, MY HUSBAND just left too and you don't see me running around lying every 15 seconds, NOT doing my chores without being told to 50 billion times, peeing my pants 10 times a day and just being a total brat, and the FIGHTING, the constant never ending FIGHTING over as much as who's dust corn is bigger! Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm not understanding or anything, I'm just a bit frustrated and annoyed which I wanna believe I have the right to.

So anyway. Please please please let these kids act normal again. Or is this the norm? Who knows.
"they'll go through phases" yadiyadiyada, I've heard it all, been there done that. I've been a mom for a little more than just two days, it'd just be nice if a baby would come with a manual for when they get older. Cause the baby stage is a piece of cake compared to when they start growing up, believe you me.

Sigh. Well, I better go and find my happy place now and hide until they're 18 since they're already fighting again. Lord have mercy...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Good morning - is it?


"It might be a good idea to avoid using the phone today. You are likely to get some strange and unsettling phone calls, especially from siblings or close friends, who seem to have some pretty strange ideas all of a sudden. Double check all facts before taking a stand in an argument."<---- my horoscope for today... ME - stay away from my PHONE???? Good one. But seeing how AGAIN I was up way too early thanks to my husband's stupid but pretty cat (yes dear, RayRay is YOURS) I really don't think I'm in need of anything else to upset me. I have 13 minutes left until my alarm goes off, let's see how much sleep I can get out of that. Ha. 

By the way, may I just say that the fact that I can blog via sending an email to my blog address is pretty darn awesome.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Well here we go. Another day down, god knows how many more to go.
I really don't know what it is that makes kids snap at random occasions. Mimi had one of her episodes today in the Commissary... Like seriously, could you be any more like the devil's child? I sure sometimes want to slap the looks off some people's faces especially when it's couples that are clearly WITHOUT children. Well either you're effin lucky for having a sitter when you go buy groceries OR you just don't have any kids, which therefor entitles you to what? Exactly. To shut the eff up and starr at your feet.

And it could have been a good day. Well if you don't count the fact that the cats woke me up - yet again - at 0530 in the morning meowing the crap out my ears and after that of course, I was wide awake. But, Tristan made it out of bed on time, got ready on time and left the house on time. Which in this house isn't such a daily thing anymore. Not lately anyway. The work order guy showed up at a decent time and fixed my dishwasher within a whole 30 seconds. Mimi slept until almost 9 and let me brush her hair without screaming the living crap out of me for "ripping out her hair". I got a phone call from the Red Cross notiying me that I won a Disaster Kit in last weeks food drive - well not that hard when you're like THE ONLY person on this entire post who donated anything. What a sad sad world.
We went to the thrift store. After that I went and finally got my breast pump back that someone had borrowed from me. I guess nowadays they raise them kids differently but I could have sworn it's when you borrow something from someone YOU return it and well, clean sorta kinda. But hey, nobody's perfect. Tought me yet another lesson, and I can hear my husband's voice in the back of my head "I told you not to let people borrow your stuff". Yeah hun, whatever :O) So then we had lunch with some old old friends. Not old age wise, just old as in "old friends". It's always the good ones leaving which makes military life so so so much harder than it already is. After lunch we went to the Red Cross Station to pick up my Disaster Kit and talked to the Manager there about the planned Fundraiser. It all seemed all pretty in pink right there and then. So after taking Mimi to ballet, which was shockingly very relaxing today with only 3 kids there (and my special 2 "friends" absent - praise the lord), getting Tristan from SAS and picking up a TV with build in DVD player AAAAND a working remote control for only 20$ (http://www.bookoo.com/ people, it's the place to sell your stuff and find what you're looking for), we went home and I got to fundraising-planning. I had the form I needed, it was filled out, I was on my way out when I got the email telling me that in order to have the Red Cross Station here on post sponsor our fundraiser (which you have to in order to have a fundraiser on post period, you have to have a sponsor or write a letter to the Garisson Commander and then wait for his approval, god knows he's a busy man so I thought going with a sponsor would be less time consuming), I would have to go through their website and APPLY for such thing. That would take 7-10 business days, and if approved, I'd then have to go over legal stuff with the Station here and of course basically sign over my life and THEN the manager could sign the application to even have the fundraiser on post. And then again of course, you need like 500 more signatures. To make it all a little more complicated on my end, the application form on the website for the Red Cross, is for companies and such only.
After all that I tried sending my beloved one of my rant emails and in the middle of it all, my laptop (again my husband's voice "hun it's NOT a laptop, it's a NOTEBOOK") decided to jump back a page and there went my hate email and my chance of blowing off steam. I literally had to sit there and tell myself to slowly put everything down and "step away from the NOTEBOOK"!!!! I did and there we went to Karate practice. Which went well, too. Mimi decided to play good girl and only annoy people a little, waving princess wands in their faces or asking them if she could see the gum they were chewing. Tristan had a good practice and I can tell he enjoys the attention and praise.
It could have ended ok I guess. I could have had a somewhat enjoable rest of the day. But no, dumb ol' me had to go to the Commissary and buy food. Who does that nowadays anyway? So overated. Ha. It was a short trip, 10 minutes tops and we were checking out. 40 items or less, self check out please. No lady next to my line at the regular check out, I am using the self check out for a reason, I want to check out my items MYSELF so I would sincerely appreciate it if you wouldn't always TELL me to step over to the next line so YOU can check me out. Well that came out wrong, but anyway. So there goes Mimi screaming and screaming and I mean literally SCREAMING and crying. And Tristan didn't know why, and I sure as hell didn't know why and I don't think she even knew why herself. We did make it to the car, all kids alive I may note. That little stinker didn't even give me a chance to yell the living crap out of her for being such a brat (yes I YELL get over it, when was the last time YOU spanked your kid? ha! yeah I prefer to yell rather than that, so judge ME why don't ya)! By the time I had the groceries in the car and moved my big preggo butt in the car, little miss it's my party and I cry if I want to, was out cold. Well thanks a whole friggin lot.

One day out of many. It didn't go as planned. It could have gone better. BUT, another day down. Another day closer to being married and married again, rather than married and single...