Also known as Mother's Day. Why? Simple. Because it's usually accompanied with a lot of drama right before and on the said day. I can only nod my head and think "yup someone's always gotta ruin this "special" day for you with lots of disrespect and making you feel like you're totally unappreciated." But hey we go through that on more than one year throughout the year so really, it doesn't matter which day you eff up for me 'cause it'll hurt either which way.
Ok so let's see. On MD you thank your Mother for all she's done for you. Some do more, some less. Some never gave a shit about you and still expect a big ol' thank you.
When it comes to me that really is the biggest no-no. When you expect a present. Ppl that even tell you "oh I want this and that from you for Mother's Day!" WTH??? Ppl like that make me sick, I think it's disgusting to do something like that. Oh to be "disappointed" when all you get is a picture your child drew for you or anything they've made, even when they're already older. Shouldn't it come from the heart though and not from their wallet??? Of course when you're in your mid 30's you're not gonna color your mom a picture anymore. Then it's a bouquet of over priced flowers that will die a couple of days later. Or maybe you'll take her out to dinner. Whatever you think she deserves or well in most cases, because it's what everybody does and it's simply expected. Mother's Day has turned into such a materialistic day and really isn't about what it should be anymore. My son who's 8 years old, and had the funds to buy me something, didn't. And I loved that! I actually had to laugh when I heard myself say "awww you made me something - out of garbage!" he did. That's his thing, he sees empty cardboard boxes, juice boxes, tp rolls, etc and builds stuff out of it! And today all of that was filled with more little things he made, pictures he drew, cut out hearts, cards that told me "you look like an angel! I love you Mommy and I try to help you as much as I can today!" stuff like that warms my heart and makes me wanna cry - not the store bought crap I can go buy myself if I feel I have to have it so bad.
Let's move on to the one subject that causes trouble every year. Should a husband who's also a dad acknowledge his wife on MD?
I think there's three categories when it comes to this.
You have the "assistant dad" who reminds the kids it's MD, helps them make breakfast and assists in anything the kids want to do for mom and gives advice and ideas.
Then there's "the trying to kiss up dad" who knows he never shows how much he appreciates anything the mother to his children does so on MD he goes all out and she'll get flowers, chocolates, expensive gifts. She happily accepts and for the rest of the year she'll continue to whine and complain about him not appreciating her. Kinda like Valentine's Day if you think about and exactly why I don't celebrate it. I don't believe you should be concentrating on that one day out of the year to show your love for your significant other, and then the rest of the year not care. You should show your love every day. May it just be a two minute shoulder rub, loading the dishwasher even though that's not your chore, surprise him/her.
Ok and last but not least, you have the "I don't care" dad. Some just simply really don't give a crap, they don't even call their own mom on MD so what makes you think he'd appreciate you? And then there's the ones that bend over backwards for their own mother but when it comes to you, it's "you are not MY mother" so they don't see any reason to be thankful for everything you do for HIS children. Insert eye rolling here.
The thing is though, MD should be something between the child and mom mainly. There's no harm in having dad helping out the kids with showing their appreciation and/or giving mom the day off but the whole showing off your presents and bragging about it really isn't what it SHOULD be about.
It's funny though how you can tell how other ppl see you and what you do on a daily basis. Example. My dad sent me an email this morning asking if we are going to skype or if I was busy with celebrating Mother's Day with my kids or if they've forgotten.
Ok. First of all. It wouldn't have killed you to wish me a happy MD but hey, I know you think I'm a shitty mother seeing how I don't let my kids get away with everything. They have rules, they have to show respect and yes there are consequences. There are time outs and they get grounded. Big bohooo. Oh and second, no my kids didn't forget like you may think they probably would since they're so miserable having me as their mother. Don't you love it when your own parents always think they'd do it better? Especially when you could rub so much in their face that they didn't do right when you were still a "kid"?!
But then there's the least expected. I got a beautiful card from my husbands grandfather. Even if it's just a card sent 'cause he thinks he should, he went out and got one and wrote in it and mailed it off. And he put a smile on my face with that. It's the little things, the unexpected things that mean something.
So. MD is just another day that can either turn out great or very very bad, depending on what your expectations are and what you'll get in the end.
To all the Mommy's out there, no matter what, don't forget YOU know what you accomplish and sacrifice on a daily basis to make sure your children have everything they need and to keep your family happy and together!
THAT'S what matters the most, that YOU don't forget about YOURSELF!!
