Happy Fucking New Year

A little less than two hours left in 2011 and I'm pretty much forcing myself to stay awake. I really don't have any reason to though. It's just me and the kiddos, which are all passed out, so what I should be doing is go to bed. Instead I decided to reflect a little on this past year...

2011 was definitely a year of change. Good and bad. It's been a year of growth on my end. 

They say a woman changes every 7 years. Well, it's save to say that that's pretty much what I did in 2011...

I've had my low points, and lord knows I've had plenty of those, but I've somehow managed to pull myself back up over and over to enjoy every second of many amazing moments. And at this point I have to take a minute and thank the people involved, who always stood beside me. I know I wouldn't be where I'm at today without you, and it may not seem like you've done anything special, but just being there and listening, actually really listening, has helped me so much. Understanding. Giving advice - whether I liked it or not. I know there's probably 20 if not more reading this and padding themselves on the shoulder thinking "yes, she's talking about ME! I've been such a great friend bla bla bla". And if this were a facebook status, they'd "like" it to show me "they know" I'm referring to them. Nothing like that is needed here... 

I know you don't really need me to say this but I do thank you from the bottom of my heart for standing by me through and through. This year has definitely proven once and for all that it's always gonna come down to the same people. And I'm more than grateful that it's you...

To clear a couple of things up. I don't have anger issues. I'm not bitter. I don't hate my life. I'm not a backstabber. I'm not a bitch - well define "bitch". I'm not depressed. I'm not whatever negative bullshit you're making up to make yourself feel better.
I just don't enjoy being lied to. I can't stand it when people talk shit behind my back to make themselves look all high and mighty. I'm not much into toxic friendships and I'm sick of drama queens and attention seeking whores - which by the way goes for males and females. I don't like to be disrespected or taken advantage of. Fake cunts piss me the fuck off. Again, NO, I don't have anger issues :O)

Yes, I've changed. I'm no longer just sitting back watching people walk all over me. And at some point in my life, I had to make the decision that that even goes for family. Which I understand, pisses most of them the hell off and people around me judge me for that. But you know, if people who are considered family can't take me for who I am, if they can't love me just the way I am, why do I have to let that affect me? Why am I expected to change to their liking? 

All my life I've lived for others. I've always put myself in the background and made sure everyone else got what they needed and that they were happy. I avoided confrontation, which, yes I still do mostly but I'm getting there. 

Call it midlife crisis if you must, but I'm not getting any younger here. I don't want to spend the next 20 years of my life pleasing everyone else around me just so I can wake up one day realizing I've wasted my best years doing just that. I don't regret being there for everyone or any of that, don't get me wrong. But for me to be happy inside and out, I need to finally put myself first. And I understand that it'll take time to adjust for some, and I hope they will, just quit calling me all these names for fucks sake :O) 

I've met some amazing new people this year. I've also met a couple I can't wait to get rid off at some point 'cause they're just sucking the life right out of me. But, as it takes time to let people in to your life, it takes time to show them the door... 

On a positive note, I don't think I've ever met as many awesome fucking people in just one year than I have in 2011. What I value most is that they get me. Maybe it's just easier 'cause they didn't know me before so there wasn't that transition time that so many seem to have an issue with. But seriously. I'm enjoying this, whatever "this" is. This "journey" that I'm on I guess you could say. 

In 2011 I've learned that, you can't expect people to understand your point of view if you're afraid to speak up.

I've learned that I don't have to be afraid of who I am, 'cause I'm not all that bad. 

I've learned that you always have to expect the unexpected. 

You have to take the good with the bad. 

You have to hurt first to know what love feels like. 

Epidurals are fucking awesome when placed correctly.

Almost everything tastes better with BBQ sauce on it.

I've learned that a third child does make a huge difference - and everyone else who thinks otherwise is a fucking dumbass.

That I have a potty mouth.

I've learned that I have way too many stalkers on my facebook - and I mean seriously, some of you need to get over your fucking selves and stop telling others to stalk my page and then report back to them, 'cause that's just fucking beyond pathetic and sorta creepy at the same time!

I <3 facebook.

Always wipe finger prints off your plasma tv right when you notice them, don't get distracted, cause you WILL forget and they WILL stay there and you WILL have a pissed off husband especially when he has to find out about it on your blog (mimi did it). 

Life can be a fucking bitch. 

But most importantly, I've learned that without faith, you're pretty much screwed... 

Hence why this chicken shit aka moi is going to get her first tattoo, at the age of ALMOST 30 (pathetic, right?) and it'll simply say "faith". Just so I can remind myself on a daily basis, that that's pretty much all it comes down to in the end. Now the question is what part of my body it'll end up... 

Well. 2011 it's been a blast. Thank you for making this the probably most memorable year so far. Here's to 2012, let the journey continue...

So long fuckers <3 

Fuck the "title" no one reads this shit anyway

I really don't enjoy "downer blogs" but for now I feel like I have to do something that'll help me pull myself together before I run to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes. YES. It's THAT bad. After 766 days - 2 years, 2 months and 4 days - I've been pushed that far over the edge that I just don't give a fuck anymore. All the reasons I quit in the first place are out the window, and I couldn't care less. There's only so much a person can take, only so much I can take without breaking. Sure you can break me, I'll just stitch myself right back up and keep going. It's just like my stupid toe that keeps on breaking over and over, it'll heal eventually. It never quite grows back the way it's supposed to but that's ok. It'll function until the next time I don't pay attention and just break it again. Difference here is though, I break my toe on ACCIDENT. I don't mean to break it. Maybe I wasn't supposed to get hurt either, but I do believe when you say things, do things, cause things to happen, knowing it's not fair to me, knowing it's not true and all it does, and therefor the only reason you're doing whatever it is you're doing, is to help YOU out, cause you're fake two faced bitch or you're simply a selfish asshole that doesn't want to be blamed for their mistakes or piss poor choices, you know it'll hurt me in some way. So you take that risk willingly. It's not that you made a choice and oops, you're oh so sorry this happened, you really didn't mean to. NO. FUCK YOU. You did mean it, so spare me your fake ass words coming out of your fake ass mouth. 

Why? Why would you purposely fuck someone over like that? Over and over? There aren't many answers to that question really.

A) you really really just don't give a shit about anyone but yourself

B) you're a coward and you just can't help it - your cowardly nature forces you to do cowardly things in a cowardly way

C) you do it knowing that you'll be forgiven. Because I'm dumb enough to forgive you. Again and again.

And that for one is true. I cut people way way WAY too much slack. I take way too much shit from friends and family because I don't like hurting people. Even when they deserve it, I just don't like going there. For some odd reason I think it's not ok to hurt people. What the hell is wrong with me??? Seriously. 

Alone today I had to put up with so much shit from people that are supposed to "love" me and should support me and be there for me and NOT sell me out and bring me down!  I'm sitting here keeping myself from throwing up cause I'm so fucking pissed. And there's just so much going thru my mind right now and Jesus Fucking Christ (shut it, Jesus loves me anyway) that makes me wanna curse the shit out of so many people on here right now, but NO, I'm so fucking stupid I still chose not to because it may hurt them. I don't have a fucking problem offending people, ha, I'm sure y'all know that by now. But this is different, 'cause it's serious. It's not something you just "get over". Breaking trust, breaking hearts, breaking faith, that's something you just don't get over.

But I guess I'll just suck it up and take one more for the team. For the greater good of whatever this is here. Talk your talk, do and say whatever makes you feel better. I'll take it, I'll get over it, I'll fix myself - yet again. I'll be ok, don't worry. After all, that's what I'm fucking known for, right? Let's throw all this shit at her and see how much she can take. And when we're done, and she's still somewhat on her feet, we'll throw some more. Fuck we'll take out a "shit loan" should we ever run out, just so we can throw some more fucking shit at her!!!!! 

Guess what? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU AND ESPECIALLY FUCK YOU!!!!

Now that that's said, I shall keep on walking with my head held high knowing that I'm better than this. That I deserve better than this and that one day I will finally be treated like I should be. 

Thanks for nothing. Oh yeah, and btw

I'm out fuckers. 

And the winner is...

I have come to the conclusion that my two older kids have their mind set on driving their mother to the point of full insanity in the shortest amount of time.

It's what gets them out of bed in the morning and keeps them going throughout the day.

Whatever mom says, let's NOT do it. And when she tells us again and again and again, let's still NOT do it. Let's fight constantly, and yell and scream at each other. Let's always tell on each other and definitely over and over so she doesn't forget we're here. Never pick up our belongings and make sure we disregard all warnings that if she finds our toys spread across the house again, they'll end up in the trash - like she would ever do such thing! Always remain absolutely out of control when in public but especially when at the grocery store after "pinky promising" in the car that this trip would be different and not end up with tears - her tears, not ours. We must nag her constantly about how boring and miserable our lives are due to her lack of splitting herself between three kids and the little things she does. Cause I mean really, if she can stay up until after midnight on most days and be wide awake at 6am and that after being up at least twice each night playing with the baby, well she clearly didn't do much all day or else she'd be tired and go to bed when we do. Never should be forget to always demand things like extra time, wanting new things, her taking us out to the movies and of course being paid an allowance for chores we NEVER do.

Clearly. I deserve the "mom you fucking suck" award for the year 2011. And surely if I keep this shit up, I'll be the runner up for next years title before 2012 even begins.

And let's not get into the "shitty wife of the century" award. Looks like I got that one covered as well.

Well. At least now I can't say I never win.

Over and out fuckers.

warning! adult language! ah fuck it, like anyone actually gives a shit

Sooooooo

Where shall I begin? Ok. Let's cut right to the chase. 

Over the passed three days, I sat down to write my blog on at least 10 different occasions and never got to finish. And each time, once I got back to it, I realized it wasn't even worth writing about. Such petty fucking horse shit, it still sorta kinda blows my mind really.

No, I will not get back to what was going on and all that nonsense but if it wasn't for all the drama I wouldn't be sitting here right now thinking that the world could REALLY really go without all the drama, gossip and attention whores out there. Get a fucking life for fucks sake. 

But with every bad there's something good rising to the surface and I've heard some pretty neat things that have been said about me recently, and well this actually goes weeks back by now. But what the hell, let's dive right into it, shall we?

Now there's one thing that seems to be an issue with some of you bitches out there. My mouth. Well. How do I break this to you so you don't get your fucking panties in a bunch - once again. I QUITE FRANKLY DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT YOU THINK! If you have a problem with the way I talk or with the fact that I don't tell you what you want to hear, move the fuck on. Get over it. Don't bother following me, stalking me, checking my pages, whatever it is that you do that makes you feel like my world solely revolves around your sorry ass and everything I say is about you. I hate to break it to you, but you're not the only dill hole out there that pisses me the fuck off! Share the lime light just a tad!

Like seriously now. I'm really getting tired of people asking if my facebook status is about them. What the fuck? If I wanted you to know it's about you, I would make damn sure you'd know. And if my status is about let's say, stupid people in general, and you go and ask me if it's about you, uhhhhm what does that tell you? EXACCCCCTLY! That you're STUPPPPPID! If my status is about cheating whores and you feel the need to ask me if it's about you, well, I guess that means you're a cheating fucking whore. I don't think I need to go on further, you should be getting my point by now. 

Stop making a fucking fool of yourself and get over it.

Ok. So like me, hate me, love me. Whatever. But if you act like i'm your "friend" or actually more like YOU are MY "friend", let's put a few things out in the open. 

Talking shit about me, my decisions, my opinions, my husband, my children, the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I live, even my stupid cats, anything or anyone in connection with moi, behind my back, does NOT make you a friend. It makes you a fucking two-faced, mendacious cunt and unworthy of my time. Uuuuhhhhhhhh OH MY GOD she just said the C word, now I can't possibly follow her blog anymore... Botothefuckinghoo 

Talking shit about me, my decisions, my opinions, my husband, my children, the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I live, even my stupid cats, anything or anyone in connection with moi, to my face, makes you a fucking AWESOME friend.

See in my world, a true friend is a friend who will tell you to your face you're stupid. They'll tell you when you're being a bitch, they'll put you in your place when you're crossing a line. And in return, you'll be grateful for such friends and you'll repay them with the same amount of bluntness and that's what keeps a good friendship going. For years and years to come. True friends actually do like you for WHO you are. Not for what you can do for them, what advantage you'll bring them. It's not about you kissing their ass. Bitches, if you need shit catered to you and people to seriously kiss your ass, get fucking rich and famous and hire some foreigners to do that shit for you. (Oh no she's a fucking racist. NO bitch. I'm a foreigner myself. Therefor I own the right to make fucking foreigner jokes whenever the hell I want to. Get the fuck over it!)

In the adult world we also don't have to play stupid little games and exaggerate and dramatize our stories so others will believe us over somebody else or or or to get attention 'cause our lives are so miserably boring that we simply don't see no other way other than make up shit *frantically claps both her hands in excitement*

  Oh Jesus fucking Christ (and yes I JUST DID say Jesus and fucking AAAAND Christ all in one sentence and yes I know I'm going to hell for that, who's coming with me and who's bringing the booze?) why do people like me have to deal with people like you? It's just, it's, it's just so fucking unnecessary and unproductive.

Now what I REALLLLLLLY don't get is why you even put up with me. Why and I really mean WHY is it, that people who having absolutely nothing good to say about you, seem so obsessed with everything you do or say. If what I have to say offends you oh so deeply and makes you tinkle your panties, why don't you just walk the fuck away from it then? I'm rude, I'm disrespectful, I'm mean and hurtful, I'm a bitch... Heard it all. My question is though, why the fuck are you still here then? I have never ever made anyone believe, for whatever stupid reason, that I'm this sweet and innocent ass kissing little girl who will always just nod in agreement. That is so not me. And never will be. 

One last thing I need to point out. When I do tell you you're a childish little insecure bitch, or whatever my choice of words may have been, it doesn't necessarily mean that I don't like you. It just means that I don't like the way you're presenting yourself... Haha. Well in some rare cases it does mean that I don't like you but usually people affected by that, realize that fairly quick and leave me the fuck alone. 

Long story short. Stop being pathetic and either suck it the fuck up or suck it the fuck up. That simple :O) I am who I am and I love myself for that. Cocky? Not at all. 

Quick shout outs before I call it a night. 

Jeannette S., for being an awesome motivator in so many ways. I can't believe you're actually sorta kinda my boss nowadays but I wouldn't wanna have it any other way. 

Irma S., for getting me freebies (haha) and being a hoe through and through and for getting me. Hooker, you truly DO get me and my wicked sense of humor or whatever that is. 

Jessica C., I'm telling you, Jesus is ok with it! But maybe you could say an extra prayer for me just to make sure :O) <<<< that's me apologizing for being a bad sheep

I love you all, haters and lovers (that totally just made me sound like a whore didn't it?), hookers, bitches and hoes.

Until next time. 

I'm out. 

Censorship sucks fucking ass

It's 2011 and our lives seem to revolve around Facebook 24/7. Hey I'm not complaining, after all I'm the one who kept everyone updated on my labor process and told my husband "quick take a picture of him, I gotta update my Facebook" before I was even stitched up. Yes. I'm a Facebook junkie and I ain't afraid to say it!

But see, it's one thing to share your life with friends and family. But what's with all this fucking drama? Ok. Let me give you a heads up. I may be about to say a thing or two that pertains to you, but for fucks sake, if you're not wearing your big girl panties you might as well just go ahead and stop reading now. So. Panty-check! You good? Alright.
Ok first of all. If you are sick of certain people on your Facebook, delete them. Why do people feel the need to announce to us all that they're going to clean up their friends list and get everyone all "scared" like "oh my god, oh my god I hope I make the cut, whatever shall I do if I get deleted?" Then, they announce they're done and "if you can see this" you got lucky. Holy fucking shit now are we all special or what? Suddenly my life has a meaning, I now know why I'm alive!
What a load of fucking puppy doodoo!!!!! If you feel the need to delete me because I gave you a heartfelt piece of my sick and twisted mind and you didn't like it for the sole reason of you being stupid, then for fucks sake please oh god please delete me already!!!!

Now let's move on to my actual "issue". If you're a "friend" on my Facebook page, and for some odd reason you don't like what I have to say, you are more than welcome to point that out. Not saying I'm gonna give a shit but I guess it's worth trying and I AM indeed mature enough to admit when I'm wrong. However, if you seriously have an issue with me expressing myself in a way my mother didn't teach me, then well, suck it the fuck up. I'm not here to please YOU!
"you're a mother, you shouldn't be saying such things"
Looky here hoe, I don't know what your life is like but I DO have a lot of built up anger and frustration, I don't get why people think telling me I'm an "angry person" is gonna change anything haha But really now, this holding back shit isn't working for me and it's definitely NOT healthy so. So now may be the perfect time for you to "delete" me (NOOOOO!!! Please don't do it!!! Bohoooo).
"oh it's just Facebook, we're still friends in real life" uhmmm NOOOOO. What part of me admitting that Facebook has taken over my life, didn't you get? Facebook and my "real life" are one. I'm an addict and I don't plan on going to rehab.
And uhm, I'm no different in real life than I am on fb. Quite frankly, I think it's save to say, I'm probably even worse in person.

Bottom line, get over your fucking self or kiss my motherly white ass!

Over and out bitches!

Just in case you didn't know this...

F.U.C.K.

It's Saturday morning. And as usual I'm hiding out in my bedroom, taking care of the baby while dealing with this pounding in my head. Tristan and Mimi have been doing nothing but screaming and whining and crying and throwing bitch fits, for the past two hours, and over what? Well they have to clean up their rooms. I know right? What horrible mother makes their children clean up their own fucking mess?
I swear there isn't a Saturday that goes by where this shit goes down and I've seriously just had it! 

It's not THAT fucking hard! Pick it up, put it where it goes! Done! 

I mean it's not like I expect them to clean the windows or mop the floors or something. I simply want them to pick up after themselves. That's it. But NOOOOO!! 

I need someone to rewrite "Go the fuck to sleep!"!!!! I seriously need one for each irritating area when it comes to raising children! 

Go clean up your fucking room!

Get the fuck out of bed or you'll be late for school!

Eat your fucking dinner!

Stop your fucking whining/arguing/fighting!

Put some fucking clothes on (teenage edition)!

And last but not least:

Watch your fucking attitude!! As long as you're living under my roof I'm the only one who gets to have a fucking attitude around here!!!

Is it fucking Monday yet???

What the hell was I thinking staying gone for this long?

For fucks sake someone tell me how I've made it this long without bitching publicly about all the little things that make me wanna shoot people in the face for being stupid?!

I have a couple of questions I desperately need answers to. Feel free to comment below. Or don't. It's not like I really care anyway :O)

1. Why do people think it's ok to talk shit about someone behind their back? And I mean if you do so, can you at least be smart enough to make sure the ones you're talking shit about don't find out? Sweetie, there's no such thing as a "I won't tell" rule in life. People always tell. Just like you told them "but you can't tell anyone", they're gonna turn around telling the next in line "but you really can't tell anyone". What the fuck I mean haven't you learned anything growing up? And shoot, ok, so there's the ones you talk shit about that you don't actually like and you don't even hang out with. But then there are the ones you claim to be your "friends" (these poor bastards). Jealousy can be a bitch I know, I know. It's hard to keep up and it's hard to compete or feeling like you have to but come on. You sit down with them, you have a good time and next best chance you get, you make sure you trash talk her like there's no tomorrow. Now there's one thing you need to know about ME. And there are a few individuals out there who just don't want to fucking get this, so let me make you understand this! If you, for whatever stupid fucking reason, decide to go behind my back, and talk shit about me or my family, you better make sure you have a damn good reason, some damn good running shoes and jesus christ choose only words you'd repeat when looking me straight in the eyes. If you can't say it to my face, it'd sure as hell be better for your own well being if you didn't say it at all.

2. Why do people, who don't have any children, feel the need to give ME parenting advice. Now first of all, I am well aware I'm not perfect. I have my flaws and get reminded more than enough that I could do a lot better, but ya know, my children are (somewhat) well behaved, they're clean, they're well dressed, again (somewhat) well mannered, they are fed, the ones still in diapers don't run around in the same diaper all day, my house is clean and they do get enough fresh air. I do have a temper and yes I need to control my choice of words BUT as previously stated, my children are well taken care of and I don't physically punish my children. So for heavens sake, when I FINALLY make it to the check out after a 90 minute trip to the Commissary, that could have been over and done with in 20 minutes if the two older ones would have been in school, but damn of course it's sunday when i run out of everyfuckingthing so I don't have much of a choice but to take all three (and yes mr and mrs know it all, that is poor weekly planning on my end but guess what FUCK YOU, you're more than welcome to trade places with me and see if you'd do better). So after 90 minutes of going from being annoyed to irritated, angry, pissed, frustrated and just plain fed up, after begging (on both counts) and compromising, giving in and deals that are only made to be broken 5 seconds later (and that wouldn't be on my end, just to clear that one up), I just wanna get the hell out of there. So waiting until all your crap has been rang up and packed in bags just seems endless while these monsters are throwing bitch fits because they didn't get a treat. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU SERIOUS??? You made me wanna shoot myself at least 736 times within the last 90 minutes and now you want to be rewarded??? So slowly, I crumble and I'm seriously about to just break down in tears, begging my 3 year old (3 going on 30) to just give me a break and to stop screaming and crying, when this barely legal GIRL behind me smiles and says "awwwwww you'll be alright MOM! I don't have any kids of my own but I have 27 kids that I teach so I know what it's like"
I looked at her. And that's really all I could do. Out of all people in this world who think they always know everything better, the one WHO DOESN'T HAVE ANY KIDS OF HER OWN thinks she can make me feel better 'cause she KNOWS what it's like? Because for a couple of hours a day she desperately tries to get the attention of some kids but in the end thinks, "ah whatever, you're not really my problem anyway", then goes home to sit on her couch to watch some stupid movie  and enjoys the rest of her day in SILENCE, you think because of THAT you KNOW what it's like? Sure, calm down woman, she was just trying to be nice. But to all these people out there who don't have any children. When you see a parent in a store, with numerous children with the main purpose of making their parents' day as miserable as possible, do NOT, and I mean it, do NOT think there's ANYTHING YOU could say to make them feel better!!!! Before they were just jealous and thinking "damn I wish I was as lucky as that bitch and wouldn't have to drag these monsters around", but NOW, now they HATE you for it with every fiber of their being! Trust me, you just don't wanna go there!!! Just look away. Nobody likes it when people give them the "oh my god, what a terrible mother, why is she letting that poor innocent child cry?" look.
Yes I do love my children more than words can say. But I have been considering an ad in the newspaper. "free to good home". Just kidding. Well, not really.

3. And this will be my last small rant for tonight. People. Learn how to fucking park!!!
I've gone as far as buying a sticker for our car that I put in the middle of the window on Adrian's side, that reads "BABY INSIDE". Now I thought people would get the message but I think I really need to get a new one that's a little more direct "Look bitch. My mom needs more than just an inch to open this door to lift me chubby chubster with my infant car seat into the car without slamming the door into yours. So you can either back it up and try to park like a person with more than 5 remaining brain cells, or consider the dent in your car a token of our gratitude!" Don't ask me how many times I got completely parked in at Mimi's PRESCHOOL - where people really should know better.


Lesson of the day: you just can't fix stupid.

 

Take that suckers!

No wonder woman

I know at times I may seem like this tough bitch who just doesn't quite seem to give a shit, that absolutely nothing can break her.
So this may come as a surprise to some but, I'm only human and I'm no fucking wonder woman! Well maybe I kinda am. But I have a heart that is easily broken. I have feelings that get hurt by your actions, and words.

I can put up with a lot of shit. I can deal with a lot of things many wouldn't be able to, even though they carry less than half of my load and I still manage to see the world in bright colors which is mainly thanks to my wicked and awkward sense of humor and my I-really-could-care-less-what-you-think attitude.

Ok. I AM wonder woman. But, only in a sense that you will never understand.

Be advised that your actions have consequences. If you feel the need to talk about me, you better make sure you only say things you'd say to my face without shitting your pants.
If you feel the need to talk behind my back, go right ahead but make sure you watch yours...

Don't take me and my kindness for granted. I can be sweet, I can be caring. But I sure as hell can fuck you up and make you wish you'd never met me, faster than you'd ever imagine.

I'm done being nice.
The well balanced me has officially left the building.
The bitch is back.

To be continued...

Stitch by stitch and one day at a time

Through hell and back, heart torn out,
You uncover what's beneath my skin
There and back, there's no doubt, your touch is my medicine

I'll be okay, 'cause you heal me...

And I'll give you all my pieces broken
In your hands, there's nothing that you can't fix
My heart is frayed, my scars are open
So put me back together now, stitch by stitch
Put me back together now, stitch by stitch.

He's gone. Again. At 04:45 this morning we made the drive to LA to drop of my husband to finish his tour in Korea. He walked off and left me and the kids behind. Not by choice and definitely not without broken hearts. 

It just doesn't get any easier it seems. He's been to Iraq, twice. Afghanistan. We've been through worse that's for sure. Yet this time around, today, it seemed like it's the worst it's ever been. I think the more you love someone, the happier you are, the more and worst it'll hit you. 

I can't put into words how heart broken I am today. It hurts. Beyond words. 

I gotta give myself a couple of days to adjust to this and then - finally - get back to writing... 

Until then ... 

Best regards, 

Stefanie Adams-Figueroa 

"if you only have love for your own race, then you only leave space to discriminate" 

The reason

May I introduce to you the reason for my absence:

Adrian Alexander
Born June 30th, 2011
@10:49pm
8lbs 11oz
21.1 inches

Little too late

I have to rant for a minute and just say that I find it truly sad and somewhat disgusting how certain people start asking me NOW when I'm due, if my husband will be home anytime soon and who is taking care of my other kids while I'm in the hospital.

Can't handle my bitchy attitude? Well excuse the hell out of me but I am a little hurt that for the passed 9 months I didn't matter and no one gave a shit about me, my husband and kids and the fact that we were told our baby was dead when he wasn't.

No one bothered on your end. No one ever asked how we were. How we were dealing.

After we found out that it was a false diagnosis and our baby was alive as can be, it seemed like nobody cared anymore to even ask if we needed anything so far away from anyone.
I know there's been other "big events" and "great changes" on your end but
I am still waiting on anyone of you to ask at least about the kids and how they've been handling their daddy leaving in early march. Well don't ask now, if you truly cared it wouldn't take me ranting for you to realize that you have failed them.

Oh and I don't mean to worry you seeing how your life must be so darn busy, but I'm GBS positive which isn't something you wanna hear when you're about to give birth and our SON (yes you can stop calling him "it") may have downs. You'd know all these things if you would be an active part of my life, our life.

And sadly, the kids have had the worst time with their dad being gone, they have been on their worst behavior which is normal but it'd be pretty effin awesome if you'd stop calling them the best behaved kids a mother could ask for and telling me I'm a shitty mom and that I'm ungrateful and all I ever do is complain about them. What do YOU know? You know absolutely nothing!

I've been losing weight due to all the stress rather than gaining. I've been a wreck but I've made it. I'm here, I'm alive, so are the kids.

So. Let's make one thing clear. I appreciate the "nice gesture" of now trying to show an interest because you know it must be about "that time" now and neighbors and friends who know me are probably asking you "so did she have the baby yet" and it probably makes you feel like a complete moron not knowing the answer, but I can clearly live without your dumb questions and your false pretends.

Like I said my husband made it home on Tuesday, the kids are in heaven and won't let him out of his sight! I take in every second I can having him home! We are happy as can be!
His mom is coming in today, she's taking care of the kids while I'm in the hospital with my husband by my side. Yes, THAT'S one thing you forgot to ask, it's not just about who takes the kids it's also about who gives ME some support while giving birth.
When she leaves his dad will stay with us for a couple of days. On the 17th of July it'll be back to being just the kids and me. But I'm sure THAT you'll forget as well, just as you did when he left in march. But that's ok. I really didn't expect much to begin with but it just irritates me beyond words when all of the sudden people pretend that they care. Two days before my due date is kinda late don't you think?

Usually I'd say better late than never, in this case it's different. Sometimes "never" would be the better choice.

End of rant.

Best regards,
Stefanie Adams-Figueroa 

"if you only have love for your own race, then you only leave space to discriminate" 

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Somebody asked me today "how are you feeling?" my answer: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Simple as that :O)
I know I know I've been slacking big time lately but blame it on the fact that I'm due to squeeze out a melon sized head through my vajayjay in more or less than 20 days...
BUT I woke up today to see that Army Wives' Lives has posted an interview with me about my blog today, so I thought I'd share that with y'all :O)
http://networkedblogs.com/iSZ1n
I'll be back soon - promise!
Best regards,
Stefanie Adams-Figueroa 

"if you only have love for your own race, then you only leave space to discriminate" 

An obese chick's rant :O)

Breathe. Ok. I'm asking, no I'm begging you all to correct me on this blog, leave your comments, whether you agree or disagree. I can't possibly be the only person thinking this way, so please enlighten me in any way possible.

So there's this bodyshop ad, heck let me pull up the pic so you know what I'm talking about...



So what we see here is IN MY OPINION a doll that is clearly overweight. Would she be an actual woman, depending on her height, she might even be considered obese depending on her BMI. People that know me, know I am NOT skinny. I was 10 years ago, but between two kids, a lot of emotional changes and stress and of course getting older, I turned into something worse looking than this doll. Not because "that's just what happens" no, because I LET IT happen. Sure gravity will do it's best, and you can't fix stretched out skin unless you get an operation BUT being OBESE has NOTHING to do with having kids. Yes your body changes when you have kids, but heck no am I gonna let anyone tell me that it's NORMAL to be obese or overweight after you have kids. IT IS NOT.

Again. IN MY OPINION this doll looks NOT healthy. Now I don't agree with stick figure models that show every single bone on their body. It's disgusting and we all know that also isn't healthy.
But I seriously can NOT relate in any way, to women who are saying the doll in this picture is what we should teach our daughters to reach for! What the hell is wrong with you? Yes we need to teach our daughters and not just them, we need to teach our children in general that IT IS indeed ok to NOT look like skin and bones! I am all for that. But it shocks me that there are so many women who truly believe that this doll is our future. "most women look like that doll". Yes sadly, the majority of women in the United States of America does look like that. I'm not gonna argue with that. But you blind fool, that doesn't mean it's what they're supposed to look like!!!! I know there's no point in arguing with someone who obviously can't differeniate between fact and fiction but goodness gracious they have to invent a way to slap people upside the head through the internet!!!
AGAIN I AM CONSIDERED OBESE, borderline but I'm there. Well I can't really say right now because I'm pregnant and apparently I've gained only 6lbs so far and I'm due in 26 days so yes, I might "only" be overweight now but nonetheless. You can't accuse me of being "just a skinny bitch who is calling all ppl that look like that doll, fat and lazy" Newsflash, I NEVER SAID THAT. I am so sick and tired of this effin drama coming from little girls that have absolutely NO life experience and can't have a discussion based on facts and stick to their ignorant and blind ways just for the heck of it. Let's see how many I can round up who act just as imature as me hehehehehehe *insert stupid shallow laugh here*

I'm the first one who will admit I am wrong and the first who will realize when it's just simply not worth wasting another word. But lord do I wanna grab some of these kids by their shoulders and just shake the stupid out of them.

Hey, I'm sure there's plenty of people who think the doll in the picture is NOT overweight looking. It's all in the eye of the beholder, right?

But, this is my PERSONAL blog and I will state my PERSONAL opinion. Same goes for my personal websites or whatever else I call my own. If you don't agree with it, give me facts, don't sit there like a little sourpuss and call me "ignorant" and "mean" and that I'm "attacking" you. GROW THE EFF UP ALREADY!

Having an opinion is one thing - you aren't always gonna find people who agree with what you have to say.

Voicing your opinion publicly is another - if you can't stand up for yourself, then you really need to THINK FIRST before you open your mouth...

Dear Supermom

Dear Supermom,

Today I am writing you in regards to my terrible parenting skills. I am seeking your advice and help seeing how I am clearly NOT capable of raising my children the right way.

Please don't count in the facts that I am currently a little slow on my feet seeing how I'm a 200lbs cow who is awaiting the arrival of her third child in 28 days, a "single mom" with a husband abroad serving his country. I am truly sorry that I am currently not able to run a marathon due to this baby putting all this weight on my cervix that it's hard to walk from the couch to the potty and back. I know it's a disgusting sight and I am trying my best to make my children's lived less miserable and giving them every second of stored energy rather than resting.
I don't know if you can somehow relate to how it is without a husband in the service and two children that don't know how to deal with daddy being gone so they start going cookoo. The constant fighting and screaming in this house clearly is because of my lack of parenting skills and keeping them busy 24/7. Be advised when I say "constant" I mean AT ALL TIMES POSSIBLE. I'm not sure what's worse, the fighting and screaming that doesn't involve me - well not until the try to beat each other in who can run faster to mommy to tell on the other - or, how easy it is for them to completely ignore everything I say.

Don't mind that it's been rough on me that family really isn't what it's intended seeing how I have absolutely NO support here whatsoever. Yes they're far away, but there isn't even such thing as morale support coming from the ones that brought me into this world and the ones that grew up under the same roof as I did.
I guess between all of this and paying bills, cleaning the house, setting up for the new baby, planning summer activities for the kids, cooking, laundry, the family pets, doctors visits, ER visits, the dentist, playdates, fundraisers, volunteer work, teaching things from learning how to write your name, potty training, meaning of holidays and answering any possible question they could have, I must have lost my ability to be a good mom because today I dared to let them play in the backyard with me just sitting in a chair and looking up in the sky TRYING to find a moment to rest. Prior to that I filled up their new kiddy pool with about two inches of water and reminded them of a few rules: don't touch my plants, don't throw anything in that pool, look out for spiders and snakes.
15 minutes later I decide it's time to go inside seeing how my daughter thought it'd be oh so funny so hose down my windows with the garden hose and her brother was yelling at the top of his lungs for her to stop and "counting" like he's her dad, which well, he isn't. So on our way inside I look at the KIDDY pool and oh how prettyful, the water was covered with flowers. Of course there was no answer to my question to why such flowers were in there. Four big eyes and open mouths definitely was all I could expect.

And then to top it all off, I had the nerve to post a very sarcastic status about the flower-pool incident just to be put in my place an reminded what a shitty parent I must be for leaving my unsupervised and obviously too young (or else they'd listen) children outside with a pool they can drown in.

I'm sorry Supermom.
I don't know where I went wrong and why my children simply act like children act, well unless they're so terrified of their parents that they even ask permission to breathe. I don't know why they can't follow every single instruction given, must be a disease because when I was still working as a child and youth program assistant for the united states army, I saw quite a LOT of that and I was always surprised how un-adult-like these kids behaved even though they are meant to listen to each command after hearing it for the first time. My children must suffer from the same horrible virus.

I know my jealousy of your perfect picked fence life with a husband who works 9 to 5 and gets the weekends off, your parents and inlaws living in the same zipcode and your perfect little todds, is downright disgusting and uncalled for, I know.

BUT:
Honestly, i REALLY don't give a shit what you have to say about my oh so poor parenting skills. I've been doing this for more than 8 years and by no means am I perfect, bun unless you have walked as little as a mile in MY shoes, and know the whole story, don't effin judge me as for I don't need your ignorance to mess with my good mood.

Thanks for your time, Supermom. I'm looking forward to your response. NOT.

You'll never know unless you've been to "the other side"

Mimi is sitting next to me on the couch. With her flute... My ears are ringing already but she just said "Mommy, maybe I should play louder so Daddy hears it and comes home faster!?"

If she only knew.

Times like these make me realize how strong you have to be when you're a military spouse and have children. It's one thing having to be strong for yourself but having to be strong for your kids is hard. Especially since it means whatever you need, want or feel isn't what matters.
I wanna sit here and cry because I'm frustrated, hurt and angry and just effin pissed beyond words. I wanna throw things, I wanna hurt someone, heck I'd even take hurting myself. Whatever outlet available to get rid of these feelings. I wanna scream and yell out the truth.
BUT I'm a mother first and foremost. My main priority and goal is to make sure my children are ok at all times. So I force a smile, even though it kills me inside. I gently stroke her hair while reassuring her that Daddy will be home soon and that she shouldn't worry. Daddy loves you and misses you more than words can say little girl, don't you worry, Mommy's always here to ease your pain, even if it means I'll be hurting more.

Tristan coincidentally told me this morning "Mommy I really want Daddy home again, I miss having fun with him!"
It's just one of those days I guess. And I mean it's true, kids can sense when something is up. They know when something isn't quite right. They're probably getting antsy and just need to be reminded that everything's gonna be alright.
And it will.
Like I said. A mother will always put her children's needs first. And a military mom has to do an extra load of that. And we do such without complaining.

We don't only live lonely lives at times filled with lots of fear and tears because it's hard waking up thinking about your soldier who's at war. Going all day without hearing from him. And going to bed crying because you're not sure if he's even still alive.

We also just keep a smile on our faces when you cry to us constantly about your boyfriend of two months who's out of town for two weeks and you're just not quite sure you'll live through this horrible separation. We smile and let you cry on our shoulder and when you actually have the nerve to say "geez I don't know how you do it, going without sex for so long? I would've cheated already!" we still smile even though we wanna strangle you right there on the spot.

When people tell us "it's what you signed up for" or "you knew what you were getting in to" we rarely ever tell them to eff off or go to effin hell! No, we again just smile and take it. For we know we DIDN'T sign up for crap! And we DIDN'T know what it was gonna be like, who the hell does? Are you telling me you ignorant piece of useless crap were born with the great knowledge of knowing what it's like to have a husband at war? No? Well then who the hell gave you the right to speak?

When our inlaws call us upset because they haven't hear from their offspring in a while and make you feel like it's your fault you tell them not to worry, he's just super busy and you remind them that he's at WAR and that you and the kids would love to hear from here more often as well. Unfortunately you have to WAIT too and in the end it's up to him to call them.
Every now and then you're not so nice when telling them. But mostly you are for the "greater good" and to keep the peace.

It really takes a lot out of a person to take all this on top of playing single mom while still having a spouse, making it through these separations that are - believe it or not - NOT easy, keeping faith in your significant other, dealing with the change in personality, never knowing how long you got left and these little human beings that are just scared and confused and need you to make it all better...

I know some don't care. They just do. And they don't mind ignorance.
When it comes to me, let me give you a fair warning:

If you haven't been to my side, don't even think about giving me your two cents cause I'll shove 'em right down your throat!
You DON'T know what it's like and for your own safety, keep your insulting "advice" or comments to yourself. You probably don't even mean any harm but sometimes silence really is golden ;O)

To throw up or to go psycho b****h - that's the question

If there's one thing I really really REALLY hate, it's when I'm being lied to and KNOW that I'm being lied to. I'll never forget the first time my son lied straight to my face without any regrets. The times after that didn't real much different to be honest. It doesn't matter how many times it happens, it hurts the same each time.

 I usually don't mind liars, well I do mind I just don't care if that makes any sense?
I just think it's pathetic when you are not able to tell someone the truth. If you're not adult enough to talk to me on that kind of level then please oh god please don't waste my precious time.
But when it comes to loved ones, real loved ones, the ones I've chosen not the ones that are automatically considered "loved ones" 'cause they're blood, now when they lie to me, I just wanna die 'cause it hurts SOOOOO much.

Now I know a lot of times I may blow things up when there's no need to. Especially now, with my hormones messing with me on a daily basis, it's hard to stay focussed and on target. But I think I still know when people are being dishonest with me. And right now I really have to ask myself, WHY? Why would you lie to me about something as pathetic as your pride and your stubbornness? Just to get your effin way, when you know in the end, you'll hear a big fat "I told you so"?! I seriously don't get it sometimes why people are like that. Not giving a shit about what's at stake. Maybe not even realizing what's at stake. But definetely always sure enough that they have to get their way, no matter the cost. Well sometimes the cost is just too great.

The second most disgusting thing to me is when people think that I'm stupid enough to actually fall for their crap. Let me tell you something, just because I don't call you out on your pathetic lie, doesn't mean I haven't caught you on it. I simply chose to judge you for it in my head and reconsider if you're even worth being around seeing how you think it's neccessary to feed me your crap. I've actually gotten rid of a lot of "friends" recently because of just that. I can't stand liars. I just can't.
Combine lying with thinking I'm stupid and you're definetely on route to be officially off my buddy list.

Geez, I'm seriously so sick right now that I'm literally sitting here telling myself "do not throw up, it's not worth it". And it's not, I know that. When it comes down to it, I have to keep going no matter what, I have to keep planning ahead and just take one day at a time, making decisions that are right FOR ME.

Oh boy, now I'm giggling. It really didn't come so unexpectedly. I should have seen this coming, it's not like this hasn't happened before. Silly me. But you know what, it REALLY isn't worth it. There's no point in arguing with a liar, because a liar who choses to lie straight to your face, won't ever admit to such thing even if you did point it out, so why really would you even consider mentioning it? You know what's going on, I know what's going on.
End of story.


Liar liar pants on fire, hanging from a chicken wire.
It's funny how I hear this about 10 times a day. It's Mimi's faorite new song. Well her version goes more like this "liar liar liar liar hanging from a chicken wire - HA".
If there was a way to spare my children from this kind of pain that sooner or later will be inflicted on them by someone they trust and love, any way at all, I'd do it.


"So the pain begins, as the music fades. And I'm left here, with more than I can take. If you lift me up, just get me through this night. I know I'll rest tomorrow, and I'll be strong enough to try. When the static clears, and all is said and done, I will realize that we all need someone. If you lift me up, just get me through this night. I know I'll rest tomorow and I'll be strong enough to try. So when you see me crashing, and there's nowhere left to fall, will you lift me even higher to rise above this all?!"

Just a few insides

There are a couple of things that caught my attention over the passes few days and they seem to be irritating me. Or else I wouldn't have to write about it.

First of all, and this one is hitting close to home right now, why do people feel the need to use alcohol and its consumption as a replacement for whatever is missing in their life? When you're young you just don't know any better, teens try it at an early age because that's what they see on TV. I am one of those people who truly believes it is or fault our youth is way deep into drugs and alcohol, violence and teen pregnancies. We let them be around it, WE are the ones introducing it to them, so really, you can't blame your child when they start smoking at 14, end up pregnant at 16 with an alcohol and drug addiction. Where were you as a parent teaching them right from wrong? Where were you monitoring what your child was watching on tv, what computer games they were playing, what friends they were hanging out with? Sure, you can't be there all the time, but I'm sorry, if you end up with a teenager with these kind of issues it's not because you "couldn't be there all the time" it's because you failed your children as a parent.
Back to the alcohol issue. Like I said when you're young you don't know any better, it's legal (once you hit a certain age of course, where I'm from 16 for beer and wine, 18 for everything else) everyone else does it so you do it, I get it. I've done it, too. I'd get drunk at the weekends with my friends at the clubs and had a kick ass time. And still nice today to have a little bit to drink when you're out and just wanna "let losse". Me personally, I get that chance maybe twice a year, if that, and well right now that's totally out of the question seeing how I'm almost 8 months pregnant. And no, I DON'T believe that "a glass of wine a day" won't hurt your unborn child. If a glass of wine will make me tipsy, i don't even want to know what it'll do to my unborn child. Everyone thinking it is ok to drink while pregnant, deserves to be slapped upside the head, but that's just my opinion.
So when does drinking become an issue? When do you as the person consuming enormous amounts of alcohol on a regular basis realize, it's too much and has become a problem? How do you get yourself out of it! I think society needs to get away from the image of the heavy alcoholic who is drunk 24/7. It's starts way before that. But society tends to look away because who enjoys pointing fingers at someone saying "you are an alcoholic". I believe once you consider alcohol as a fix-all, a replacement, a way to cope, that's when you're already in way too deep. But it's hard to reach a person who's considering alcohol "a friend". You had a shitty day at work again, so you get drunk. You had a fight with your spouse, so you get drunk. You are over whelmed with whatever situation you're in, so you get drunk. And again and again.
What does that fix? Nothing. It only makes things worse. And sadly, in most cases, you won't realize that until it's too late. Alcoholism is a disease. But since society makes us believe it's "normal" it's "accepted" to drink even at noon, you don't see yourself as being sick. Yet you are.
The most devastating part is not just that you're hurting yourself by slowly destroying yourself and body, you are hurting the ones that love you and are there to help you but you won't reach out because alcohol doesn't want you to talk, it doesn't want you to open up and deal with your issues. No. Alcohol is the backstabbing bitch that'll always smile in your face telling you lies how you'll always have your buddy alcohol but in the end, when it's all said and done, when it's too late, alcohol will have taken everything from you.
You don't just damage yourself, you damage the ones who care about you. So what are they to do? Sit around and watch you go down hill? Are they to interfere? Should they protect themselves? Could you blame them for walking out on you after they've tried absolutely everything to save you from yourself when they almost got lost themselves along the way? And yes you don't see that because the disease has taken over your body AND mind. You're not gonna see any of that until, yes, until it is too late.
I, like many people I know, grew up with alcoholics around them. And it's not pretty to watch, especially not when you're a child. It's painful to watch them hurt other with their actions and words all because they had one too many at the bar. When alcohol becomes a priority and your family comes second, you're crossing a line.
You're not as strong as you seem. You're weak. Hiding behind your drunk facade isn't making you look tough. Hiding from whatever it is you don't want to deal with, no it doesn't make you appear tough at all.
Get help. Offer help. Let them help you. Get better!

What'd you do if another woman were to kiss your husband and he'd tell you about it? I just read that in an army wives support group. And shockingly, out of god knows how many ppl answering there was only ONE that said, she'd be glad he told her but she'd walk away from "her" with class. Everyone else said they'd "beat the shit out of that bitch". What exactly DID happen to classy women? Where have the gone to?
Not only is it extremely low class to "beat the shit" out of someone, but shouldn't you also ask yourself how your significant other even got into that kind of situation? As much as they wanna play the victim, ask yourself, are they really THAT innocent?

And last but not least (at least for now) I HATE it when so called "friends" choose sides when there's an argument in the room and they don't even bother to actually be that friend they should be and hear both sides to the story. Yes NEWSFLASH, there's ALWAYS two sides to EVERY story!
Especially when it comes to relationship issues you are better off shutting the hell up rather than fueling the fire by telling the other party exactly what they want to hear even though they know it's wrong. That they're wrong. They've screwed up and they know it. But maybe you being a screw up yourself, is what makes you jump on the band wagon. Some "friends" you think you can rely on are poison to your life without you even knowing it. Sure we all get advice when we don't know what to do. But I believe the most honest and worthy advice anyone could ever give you is that whatever they'll tell you, they're gonna lose either way and YOU need to figure out for yourself what you think you should do. Not the "OMG is she on her period?", "ah women, they're all the same, let her get over it" or "how dare she! Who does she think she is? She isn't your mother, she can't tell you what to do!" crap, a REAL friend wouldn't say something like that. And I hate to break it to you, but, biotch, I may not be his mother, but I am his WIFE, the mother of his children. So yes, I do own that right that I can tell him what to do and what not to do if it puts him or his family at any kind of risk!
Yes, I occasionally argue with my husband and even fight, we're only human. But let me just make one thing crystal clear to YOU! Just because I've been sitting here quietly all this time, doesn't mean I don't see through you. Just because I smile and let you be part of my life, doesn't mean I respect you. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer...

That's it for now. Have a lovely tuesday :O)
Peace out

Happy I know what you're going through day

It's drama day 2011.

Also known as Mother's Day. Why? Simple. Because it's usually accompanied with a lot of drama right before and on the said day. I can only nod my head and think "yup someone's always gotta ruin this "special" day for you with lots of disrespect and making you feel like you're totally unappreciated." But hey we go through that on more than one year throughout the year so really, it doesn't matter which day you eff up for me 'cause it'll hurt either which way.

Ok so let's see. On MD you thank your Mother for all she's done for you. Some do more, some less. Some never gave a shit about you and still expect a big ol' thank you.
When it comes to me that really is the biggest no-no. When you expect a present. Ppl that even tell you "oh I want this and that from you for Mother's Day!" WTH??? Ppl like that make me sick, I think it's disgusting to do something like that. Oh to be "disappointed" when all you get is a picture your child drew for you or anything they've made, even when they're already older. Shouldn't it come from the heart though and not from their wallet??? Of course when you're in your mid 30's you're not gonna color your mom a picture anymore. Then it's a bouquet of over priced flowers that will die a couple of days later. Or maybe you'll take her out to dinner. Whatever you think she deserves or well in most cases, because it's what everybody does and it's simply expected. Mother's Day has turned into such a materialistic day and really isn't about what it should be anymore. My son who's 8 years old, and had the funds to buy me something, didn't. And I loved that! I actually had to laugh when I heard myself say "awww you made me something - out of garbage!" he did. That's his thing, he sees empty cardboard boxes, juice boxes, tp rolls, etc and builds stuff out of it! And today all of that was filled with more little things he made, pictures he drew, cut out hearts, cards that told me "you look like an angel! I love you Mommy and I try to help you as much as I can today!" stuff like that warms my heart and makes me wanna cry - not the store bought crap I can go buy myself if I feel I have to have it so bad.

Let's move on to the one subject that causes trouble every year. Should a husband who's also a dad acknowledge his wife on MD?
I think there's three categories when it comes to this.

You have the "assistant dad" who reminds the kids it's MD, helps them make breakfast and assists in anything the kids want to do for mom and gives advice and ideas.

Then there's "the trying to kiss up dad" who knows he never shows how much he appreciates anything the mother to his children does so on MD he goes all out and she'll get flowers, chocolates, expensive gifts. She happily accepts and for the rest of the year she'll continue to whine and complain about him not appreciating her. Kinda like Valentine's Day if you think about and exactly why I don't celebrate it. I don't believe you should be concentrating on that one day out of the year to show your love for your significant other, and then the rest of the year not care. You should show your love every day. May it just be a two minute shoulder rub, loading the dishwasher even though that's not your chore, surprise him/her.

Ok and last but not least, you have the "I don't care" dad. Some just simply really don't give a crap, they don't even call their own mom on MD so what makes you think he'd appreciate you? And then there's the ones that bend over backwards for their own mother but when it comes to you, it's "you are not MY mother" so they don't see any reason to be thankful for everything you do for HIS children. Insert eye rolling here.

The thing is though, MD should be something between the child and mom mainly. There's no harm in having dad helping out the kids with showing their appreciation and/or giving mom the day off but the whole showing off your presents and bragging about it really isn't what it SHOULD be about.

It's funny though how you can tell how other ppl see you and what you do on a daily basis. Example. My dad sent me an email this morning asking if we are going to skype or if I was busy with celebrating Mother's Day with my kids or if they've forgotten.
Ok. First of all. It wouldn't have killed you to wish me a happy MD but hey, I know you think I'm a shitty mother seeing how I don't let my kids get away with everything. They have rules, they have to show respect and yes there are consequences. There are time outs and they get grounded. Big bohooo. Oh and second, no my kids didn't forget like you may think they probably would since they're so miserable having me as their mother. Don't you love it when your own parents always think they'd do it better? Especially when you could rub so much in their face that they didn't do right when you were still a "kid"?!
But then there's the least expected. I got a beautiful card from my husbands grandfather. Even if it's just a card sent 'cause he thinks he should, he went out and got one and wrote in it and mailed it off. And he put a smile on my face with that. It's the little things, the unexpected things that mean something.

So. MD is just another day that can either turn out great or very very bad, depending on what your expectations are and what you'll get in the end.

To all the Mommy's out there, no matter what, don't forget YOU know what you accomplish and sacrifice on a daily basis to make sure your children have everything they need and to keep your family happy and together!

THAT'S what matters the most, that YOU don't forget about YOURSELF!!